Amelie Roden soothes the ache with her recent single, ‘Ibuprofen’
Released on January 31st, ibuprofen is one of the most recent additions to Amelie Roden’s discography of bittersweet ballads.
A singer-songwriter based in Kent, Amelie is known for her deep-cut lyricism and wistful guitar melodies. Like many of her songs, ibuprofen is torn from a musical journal entry overflowing with angst, and the soft, repetitive guitar riff gives the sensation of rocking back and forth, cradling knees to chest in an attempt at self-soothing.
Many of us have likely been raised to ‘think before we speak’ or not say anything at all if what you have to say isn’t nice. A few of us might even hold back around the people we love and trust the most, fearing how they’d react should we say how we really feel. So for some, the blank pages of a journal is where we pour our hearts out because paper can’t talk back.
In ibuprofen’s first verse, Amelie sings, “Here I sit / another party didn’t make the invite list,” and her lonely overthinking sounds a little like this: “Sometimes I wonder if my friends really hate me / and they’re just hiding it”. Trapped in an echo-chamber of her own making, she thinks that something must be wrong with her, and it’s why her friends are nowhere to be seen.
The chorus, “Three small words / I’ll probably never hear / cause I don’t think I deserve it,” further reveals her self-fulfilling prophecy. Believing that she’s undeserving of friendship, companionship and love, the singer finds herself isolated and trapped by negative thoughts: “I think my brain is wired to create problems / When there’s nothing wrong.”
Once you’ve surrounded yourself with a cruel narrative of who you are and what you deserve, it becomes difficult to break free. Feelings that bring you down accumulate and your mind twists every well-meaning action and comment directed towards you by those who care as justifications for why you feel the way you do. If only it could all disappear “like ibuprofen cures a stomach ache.”
The listener feels just how far gone Amelie is in this destructive cycle when she sings, “Standing in front of my mirror / hurling insults at myself / cause I’m not the best version of me yet”. This part of the second verse is particularly striking because it’s relatable - beating yourself up because you’re not where or who you want to be is one of the many obstacles we’re up against throughout life. Learning not to stay in this state is the challenge. Amelie offers a small glimmer of hope at the end of the lyric when she says, “yet”.
Hope carries into the song’s bridge, “I only want to be myself / But I haven’t been myself for quite some time”. On the one hand, because the speaker does want to be herself, we can assume there’s a certain degree, however slight, of self appreciation, if not self love. On the other hand, there’s the crushing awareness that the speaker is struggling to embrace themself and enjoy the pockets of good in their life as they are now.
At the song’s end, she sings: “And I try to keep my head just above the rising tide / just some oxygen and I’ll be fine”. It’s as though she sees the shore but just can’t bring herself to swim towards it; she’s not quite ready to come to terms with the harm she’s caused in this self-created negative feedback loop and do the intimidating work of healing. Not many are, and for some of us, it takes a lot of time to build up the courage to face ourselves and ask for forgiveness. Sometimes, staying above the tide is all we can manage until we get tired enough and decide, finally, to head towards land.
For those who want a deeper dive into Amelie’s recent music and her life as a singer-songwriter, make sure to read her exclusive Artist Interview with us from earlier this here.
And as always, make sure to follow Amelie Roden on Instagram to keep up with her releases, and listen to the rest of her music on Spotify: